02 December, 2013

Thawing an Icy Heart

The deliciously hot water lapped over Neffydd's head and filled her ears, muffling the music playing from her aether com on the bathing room counter. She was hoping to boil out the horrible feelings that seemed to thrum through her body with each painful heartbeat.

She focused on relaxing every muscle and the tickle of air bubbling through her hair as the water invaded, forcing the lighter gas to escape in every direction. The water creeped its way into he ear canals with a wet hiss and she could hear the music again. She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling trying to sort the things that were running through her brain.

She had seen Jedi again, last night after their favorite Sunday outing, but her hibernation cycle had gotten the better of her. While waking in her lover's arms was one of the most wonderful sensations, sleeping through the scant time he could spend with her was crushing.

"I'm gonna have to go soon." Jedi murmured in her ear as soon as he noticed she had reawakened.

"Nooo..." She groaned and clutched to his arm, burying her face in his richly scented skin. The smell of him was comforting and exciting at the same time.

"I have to." He stroked her hair and kissed her head as he pulled her hands from him.

"I know," Neffydd sighed and let her arms fall to her sides. "But I don't have to like it."

Jedi left the room for a moment and returned to put on his coat and hat.

"You know..." She gave him a half smile, still laying where he had left her. "This is becoming a bad habit."

"What?" He asked, his expression a weird mix of smile and grimace. "Me going to my home and my family?" A frigid-hot spike pierced her soul, striking her momentarily breathless. Why couldn't his place be with her?

Jedi didn't seem to note her weakness and she she was able to catch her breath again. She knew he had responsibilities that he didn't neglect... that was one of the things that attracted her to him.

"No," She plastered on a bright smile that she was pretty sure wasn't as bright as it was meant to be. "Leaving wanton women in the middle of the night." She gave up on the smile as a bad job and settled for a pout that was a bit closer to the real emotions trying to beat their way out.

"It's not like you'll be lonely, with all the people here." It almost sounded as if he were trying to convince himself.

"People aren't interchangeable." She frowned up at him. "I can keep company with others, but I still miss you."

He stared at her for a few moments, looking shocked. "I don't know what to say about that."

"Then say nothing." Neffydd shrugged.

"Don't worry," He told her and opened the portal. "I'll see you soon." With that, he was gone.

Neffydd sat up and scrubbed her face in an attempt to force the agonizing ache back. There really was no reason for such emotional shenanigans. He couldn't leave her, because she didn't really have him. They'd only been acquainted for a little over two moon cycles, but every time they were together it was like fitting in that missing piece. Every time he left for his home she missed that piece.

Her face was still in her hands when she heard the portal open. She whipped her head around, mind automatically listing the location of every weapon she could reach in under three ticks.

Jedi grinned at her from the door and lifted a satchel of snack foods.

"Tomoe left this behind." He stepped inside and leaned toward her, discarding the sack. "Any excuse for another kiss..."