28 November, 2014

Reliving A Nightmare

Reaching... Crying... Pushing... Pain...? Shit. No pain. I'm dreaming, again.

Neffydd opened her eyes and let out a deep breath. Jedi pulled her to him and nuzzled her hair. He was probably fast asleep, still. She didn't check. She just nestled down, into the crook of his shoulder and closed her eyes again.

Comfort swept her to a dreamless sleep.

12 November, 2014

The World Has Ended

The hit came from nowhere. Neffydd never expected Warder Sullens to act like this! Her confusion and anguish at being told to leave her home gave way to physical pain and panic at not being able to breathe... then his once-kind hands were on her neck and head, pressing her to the wall. Pain exploded through her skull and tears streamed down her face.

"I told you to leave..." His breath was hot in her ear; his tone made her stomach lurch. This was not her friend and lover... this was the demon.

"Stop!" She begged as he pressed her head, harder into the wall. "You're hurting me! The cops will arrest you, this time!"

"I will never leave a mark." His whisper was harsh and gloating. "No one will ever believe you."

The next day Neffydd went to collect her sons, after school, but Sullens' father was waiting for her.

"Don't come back." The huge demon snarled at her as he stood between her and the transport stop. "If I ever see you again, I'll snap your neck!"

He charged at her then, forcing her to retreat. She sat on the steps of a nearby house and sobbed as the school transport went by. She watched her minions trudge off the conveyance and toward their home, past their step-father's father. She wanted to call them to her, but feared that he would hurt them to teach her a lesson.

She looked up at him, just in time to see him make a warding sign against her. Pain lanced through her very soul at the sight of it. There was no way she could get to her spawn now... The tears came faster; blurring her sight and almost incapacitating her. She boarded the next bus toward the city center.


A couple days later she was curled in Shael's bed. Her heart numb and her body sore.

Neffydd rubbed her aching ribs, remembering the hatred in her beloved's voice and fresh tears began to spill down her cheeks. Her mind wound around a few thoughts as sobs wracked her body.

Why had he felt the need to hurt her like this?? All he ever had to do was ask and she would have given him anything he wanted! There was never any need for the violence and the lies.

She felt Shael curl around her back; stroking her arms and whispering things that Neffydd couldn't understand because her own thoughts were too loud and all-consuming. She slept fitfully in Shael's arms.


"There was nothing you could do, right then." Jedi cooed and rubbed the back of Neffydd's neck. "We'll get them back soon!"

More tears flowed from a supply that seemed to be never-ending. Neffydd was touched by her lover's conviction; but the loss of her children hurt like coals being pressed into her soul. He held her while she cried, then convinced her and Shael to get some food with him.


The next few weeks consisted of job searches, couch surfing and crushing set-backs. Any time it looked like she was getting ahead, something would go wrong.

One Tuesday, Neffydd walked into an interview for a promising job. The receptionist handed her a packet and Neffydd started to fill in the paperwork. After a few minutes a pleasant-faced young Pan walked in and asked for her by name.

"Hi...?" Neffydd said in a surprised tone.

"I have these for you." The Pan offered her a stapled stack of papers. At her quizzical look he continued. "You're being served." He handed the stack to her and left.

She sat there with the papers in her hands, stunned for a few moments. The receptionist called to her, breaking the spell and bringing her attention back to the present.

"FerchMaelgwyn?" Neffydd looked at the grim-faced Elf. "I'm sorry; can you hand those back? We won't be needing your application, after all."

Neffydd rose to her feet, gathered her purse and handed the application packet back to the receptionist. She was stunned numb again. She left the building and walked to Jedi's vehicle, slumped in and started to sob.

"What's wrong??" He demanded. She couldn't answer him, so she shoved the papers at him. "Oh... Are you kidding?!? He exclaimed.

"No..." She got the words out, around her heaving breath and tears. "They asked me to leave!"

He drove her home while, alternately trying to comfort her with his words and cursing everything about his erstwhile Metamour. Now that she had the paperwork, however, she could call about getting a lawyer for herself.


O/C -

I'm sorry about the cliff-hanger, my dear readers. I, actually, started writing this a couple weeks ago but I realized two things:

1: The story wasn't finished yet, so I couldn't write the post.
2: I was still so emotionally wrapped-up in it that I couldn't think about the events enough to reshape them into fantasy or even remain dry-eyed enough to type.

This has been a harrowing month, but I'm working my way through it with the help of some VERY dear friends and my family. It's not over, yet! Look for part two in a couple days! 

22 August, 2014

A Bit About Appliance Discrimination

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Hey there... can you share this to your friends? We need a little help, after the lightning strike.

Lightning Never Strikes Twice...
Our Lair was damaged by lightning...

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
And hello to you too

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
sorry... I'm really stressed out

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
No worries I completely understand

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
It's been a tough month

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!

I can only imagine, beautiful
I'll do what I can to help

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Thank you I hope enough people pitch-in $10 that we can at least get some of the repairs paid off.
or maybe fix our fridge
did you know... Freezers are not supposed to be over 100f?
Our fridge doesn't

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Dohhh I hate it when my fridge doesn't know stuff.
I try to take it to school
But alas it is still as dumb as a stump

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Plus, also... it can't walk, so everyone's always rude... "Why are you on the ramp?" "Why are you in the elevator?"
Have you ever heard of equal access??

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Fridge discrimination is a huge problem in our country
I overheard my fridge planning a walk on The Capitol
Show people that they are people too

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Appliance discrimination, in general

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn

Have you told your fridge that it can't walk, yet?
You might wanna break the news, before it gets to The Capitol.

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!

I don't want to focus on the negative
So I thought wheels

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Actually... fridges work WITH negative... temperatures

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
No way lol

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Yeah... but mine's breaking out of the mold

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Okay I will Break the news to mine

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
I think it's time to let it get on with its life

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Appliance power
Viva la resistance!!!

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
REMEMBER, remember...

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Oh, who's your favorite fae...?

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Elves but of course

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Elves are the bestest! ^_^

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Yes they are
Miguel the pimp elf
Awwwwwwww yeah!!

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Watch where you're pushin' that... You might fall down the handicap ramp...

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
My fridge will catch me
And she better have all my ice
Not half, but all my ice

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
No... she's mad at you for dumping the last batch on your head
She made you NO ice.

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Ohhhhh hell no
She knows better
If not it's the rack for her

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
See? Mine's so against wasting ice that he's being a dick about this shit

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Damn did I say that out loud

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
nope, you typed it

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Your fridge is being a dick

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn

But my stove still loves me

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!

You should kick it's ass to the curb and get yourself a fridge that can keep you in the Ice you are accustomed too
Your stove knows a good thing when it sees it
It knows it can't find any better love than Nevy love

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn

Well... that & I cook all the awesome things

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!

Exactly. Your stove is in heaven

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
The stove knows there's no better woman than you
Smart stove really
Smarter than that dickish fridge of yours

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
And... it cleans its self

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Seriously I never knew what you saw in that dick
Ohhhhh fuck
It cooks and cleans?
That's a keeper

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
He was here when I got the place... a squatter, I guess you couls say
So I said, "What the hell? He can do the job..."

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
He offered you some ice didn't he?
Told you to stick with him
He'll COOL the world for you baby
Fucking gigolos
Fridges are the worst too
Playing it all cool on the outside
On the inside being a hot mess

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
Not like a toilette, though... You think: "There's a cool fellow..." But really he's all sweaty & clammy & Takes shit from everyone.

Miguel Ãngel Evil !!!!
Exactly. Everyone shits on him and I hear it likes some kinky shit too.
I heard the toilet loves to be peed on
Such a submissive bastard
I can't even look at him without shaking my head

Neffydd ferchMaelgwyn
ALRIGHT! I'm tapping out... there's no way I can beat that. *Shakes fist*

06 August, 2014

Soul Song

There's a song my heart sings...
The rhythm is my heart beat, the bass beat is yours.
The melody is unimaginable in its beauty...
I sweat it out my pores.
I can't sing it for you, but I can act it out.
The only line I know is: 'I love you'...
But it's the one I shout.

07 July, 2014

A Ray of Sunlight

Neffydd lay there for a long time, trying to hold onto the dream as it faded away...

It was a simple dream, like a warm ray of sunlight on a cold day. She tried to stay in the patch of warmth; but only found herself inching away, trying to follow the waning light. The further she followed the faster it pulled away. She knew what it meant and started to pull back.

Soon, the light ray was weak and climbing up the wall as those things tend to go. It was following the same path that the others had, but this time it burned a rut into the old path like a laser sword. When it touched her face, tears sprang to her eyes and her body ached to feel the light over all her skin. After all, this little ray of wasn't her actual goal; It was a refraction of what she wanted, shining through the small space she had left for it. She would never be able to bask in the full and proper light, she would burn up in it. She didn't belong there and the light didn't really shine for her, if she stole too much someone would notice and take it from her before she could bear to part with it. So the ray of light cantilevered from the source, through the tiny space, until it was too weak to go on; then it faltered and failed.

When this searing light finally gave up, she was left in a dim twilight wishing for the light to warm her face again. This time though... She decided that when the light left her, she would cover the space she had left for it to enter. She would be in the dark, but at least she didn't have to watch another ray waltz across, following the burn mark. It wasn't exactly cold in the dark and she liked it just fine... but the sunlight was so beautiful.

It made her wish to wither under its full gaze... Just lay there, embracing sunlight until her body was dust that slipped away on the wind.

09 May, 2014

A Very Popular Party

Jedi escorted Neffydd up the walk and through the gates of his friend's garden. While she had met his human friend, before, she wasn't expecting him to be the type to hang out with many Fae. The moment she passed through the garden and into the door of the kitchens, she knew better.

I should never assume... She thought to herself as she was greeted by a sparkly Water Sprite and a stout Mountain Faun. She was well-met by Human and Fae, alike. Hands were shook often and warm smiles spread liberally throughout the night.

"Hello there!" An older Human woman caught her attention. She turned to greet the woman who volunteered that she was the mother of the man who owned the house. "Neffydd, is it? Oh! I've heard of you, once... Only good things, though!" She smiled and chatted for a bit longer before turning to pull food from an oven.

Neffydd turned at a familiar sight and greeted a friend Jedi had introduced her to a few weeks ago. He was a suspicious sort, but they got along well enough.

"Are you having fun?" Jedi checked with her after a few minutes, knowing how crowds could make her nervous.

"Surprisingly; Yes!" She smiled up at him and they got squished together a bit as someone passed behind her folded wings.

He smiled back. "I'm going out for a smoke." He tipped his head back toward the garden.

"I'll go with." She liked the people here, but there was so much new that a breath of fresh air would do her good.

"The pinata isn't for a little while..." Their host said from the trestle tables set up on the patio.

"We're just stepping out for a bit." Jedi replied and walked over to greet his friend with a handshake. "This is quite a party!"

"Yeah, man!" He smiled wide and gestured toward the out-building garage. They could see hazy light pouring out of the thin glass windows. "You can go in there, where there's heat."

"We were actually going to have a smoke..." Jedi rebuffed.

"Oh, they're smoking in there." Their host pointed at the door as it opened to let a person and a jumble of soft sounds out, into the chilly night.

"What are they smoking, in there??" Jedi's tone was light and conspiratorial.

"A little bit of everything!"

"Oh?" Jedi looked at Neffydd. "We like everything; don't we?" She gave the menfolk a sharp-toothed grin and nodded. Jedi grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the garage and their host opened the door for them.

There was a round of introductions once they had all filed through the door. More smiles and nodding and handshakes before Neffydd found herself placed in a chair next to a charming woman with a happy face.

The cloud of smoke got steadily thicker, after that, as people wandered in and out of the large-ish room. There were jokes and razzing; curious questions about Neffydd's physique and profession; snacks, drinks and other consumables passed around at satisfying intervals.

"Here..." Late into the night, Neffydd began to feel that sensation at the back of her throat. "Drink this for me?" She handed her glass to Jedi. He wouldn't keep her from drinking it, but if he was holding it she wouldn't be tempted to take a sip every few seconds.

"Done, already?" Jedi's friend asked with a sly grin. Neffydd checked the display on her mobile com.

"Yup." She showed him the lit face of it. "I might just be."

"Oh, wow!" His eyebrows raised. "I think I should be going to bed, soon, too."

"How'd you get here?" Jedi perked up. He had been slowly falling into a slouched trance, while watching the party goers move in the haze around them. Those extra hours at work were really chewing him up...

"Walked." His buddy shrugged. "It's only a little over a mile."

"It's pretty chilly out." Jedi glanced toward the door. The window in it had fogged over at the corners. "You want a ride?"

"Only if you're already leaving..." His friend was hopefully hesitant.

"Yeah, we're about done." He looked at Neffydd who shrugged and nodded. "I'm pretty beat."

True to party form, they couldn't leave without spending a bit more time polluting the air quality and chatting about all kinds of silly nothing.

A short aeon later they called it quits, for good. They slipped out the side door and walked down the car park to the street.

06 May, 2014

Just Another Day in Pinedale

"Nevy!" The girl to Neffydd's left was agitated. She kept leaning over the table to look out of the Pinedale Inn window. "I think our friend is in need... She looks distressed. She may need our help."

Neffydd looked up from her chess game with her sister's lover, an elf with giant bloodlines, Fia Minaya Onorata, to face the human Nord, Floki, directly. She was looking out the window again so Neffydd leaned over a bit to look out, with her.

Shael was in the courtyard speaking with the mercenaries who had gathered by the fire. She seemed agitated, but Neffydd knew she had things under control. She sat back down and made her next move at her sad little chess game.

"If there's one thing Shael is good at, it's getting men to do her bidding." She winked at Fia, who smiled back and took Neffydd's rook off the board. The innkeeper's husband chuckled with the traveling games master and said something just the polite side of lewd.

"Oh..." Awe tinted Floki's voice. "She found someone..."

"Just one?" Neffydd looked up in disbelief.

"No. Five." Floki's eyes were following the group as they passed the window and marched down the well-worn road. A few minutes later Fia had nailed Neffydd's king to the wall and Neffydd was finished with her ale.

"Let's go see if they still need help." Floki begged Neffydd.

"OK." Neffydd pointed down the road. "They went this way."

They hiked up the path to the crossroads and started to turn right, toward the voices of a group who seemed to be in a heavy discussion. Neffydd heard Floki gasp and turned to their left to behold a pair of hideous creatures baring down on them.

No sooner had Neffydd drawn her sword, than she realized that the creatures were Bagmen and if she were to be hit by their fear spells she would be held, powerless to stop them for injuring her and Floki then looting their valuables.

She started to run toward the people who were gathered in the common yard of a grouping of buildings just down the path.

"Help us!" She was all she could scream before her world turned into a nightmare.

Icy fingers of apprehension gripped Neffyd's spine, sending tingles into her body and clasping her lungs in a vise-like grip. She fell to the ground and the people morphed into monsters. She could hear the terrified screaming of her compatriot and the hungry growling of the monsters as they gathered around her body, paralyzed in fear. She covered her head as one of the beasts reached toward her. She screamed for help, hoping the noise would scare the creature away.

She felt fingers brush her shoulder and a warmth flowed through her body. Be calm... The thought flowed through her, chasing her terror away.

"OK... I got ya." A gentle voice said from above Neffydd. "Calm down. Are you hurt?"

Neffydd took a deep breath and a mental inventory before shaking her head. She looked up, into the lean face of her elven savior.

"N-no..." She stuttered. "Just... Just the fear, I think." She pushed herself up, off the ground and stood on shaky legs. She took a few deep, cleansing breaths and followed the elf into the common yard. Floki was escorted by another and they were set on a bench to wait for an escort back toward the Inn.

"Does this happen often?" Her breathless companion asked.

"Every time I visit this forsaken place." Neffydd sighed. "At least it's not raining... Yet."


O/C 5-8-14:

Do to popular request and gaining permission to use the proper place name, I have changed the name from 'Springdale' to 'Pinedale' to reflect the Kingdoms of Novitas' town.

Some of the characters are recurring people in my blog, (& life, for that matter,) therefore some things about them may deviate from KoN cannon. Please understand that this is a fantastical retelling of my life, so most of the posts are going to be out of KoN cannon.

Thanks for reading!

30 April, 2014


Softness caressing my skin; comforting, loving....
A buzzing under my belly; hungry, stimulating...
The ache in my groin growing, slow to cover the one in my chest.

Coldness fills my lungs; gasping, shuddering...
Momentum building up; grasping, slipping...
At the moment of ecstasy, my heart searches and finds nothing.

Wetness between my fingers; musky, cloying...
An aching behind my eyes; yearning, leaking...
My cheeks cool and my world fades; Sleep has come for me alone.

19 April, 2014

You never know

Neffydd gazed at her reflection and touched the spots on the side of her face. They were puffy and sore; reminders of the illness she didn't really want to deal with, yet. She didn't think she ever wanted to deal with it, but soon she would have to start getting things in order...

She blew her nose. Blood, again. That couldn't be good, either. Ugh. Her body ached, most of the time, now; so badly, at times, that she could barely walk, let alone fly. There was no food she could consume a great quantity of trying to eat more than a couple ounces at a time hurt, too.

She remembered a conversation with the physicker, who was overseeing her care. Fifteen years... Thirty if she took extra good care of herself. She might get to see her youngest graduate from higher learning. She tried to brush the painful thoughts away, but they came back; taunting her with the sound of Jedi's voice when her lover had told her that there was never any way to tell.

She knew he was right. It didn't stop the worry, though. It seemed like there was nothing but worry, now. She pushed the thoughts back again and walked out of the room.

"Hi, Mommy!" Her little one waved sticky fingers at her.

"Hey, baby." She kissed her daughter on the head and went for a cleaning rag. Life was still trudging forward... She might as well follow it.

20 February, 2014

Tightly Wound Cables

Warder Sullens paced the space at the foot of the bed with the mobile com pressed to his elegant ear.

"No." He growled at the tiny voice that had been trying to explain something to him. "I had your service removed from our residence. I'm not paying you more to come cut it off properly. I'm not going to pay for the service that you left on after I told your company to disconnect it and I returned all of your hardware... And I most certainly will not accept a credit to the account THAT I WANT CLOSED!"

The tiny voice coming from the speaker chattered in upset tones for a bit before Sullens reasserted his right to a repayment of over paid funds.

"Your company was given two payments of $140, last month, another payment for this month (no matter that we disconnected our service,) then tried to charge our funds accounts another $140!" He paused to take a single, calming breath before continuing. "Now I want all credits liquidated, those charges refunded and the banking fees your company incurred to be charged back to the funds account they were drawn from."

The dickering continued for a while before Sullens closed the connection.

"They said 'The check is in the mail'." He glowered at Neffydd from across the room. "I'll believe it when I see it."

11 February, 2014


She turned in her lover's arms and pressed her cheek against his chest. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heart thump, thump, thump-ing under her face and hear the warm breath whooshing through his chest, then passing over her sharp ears.

She kissed the smooth skin of his chest, near her mouth. Her lips parted and she inhaled the taste of him; her tongue darting out for a better lick. She tuned her face and kissed the hard nub of his nipple then shifted her weight so she could reach a kiss to his collar bone with a nibble for his pectoral.

His skin tightened when she traced her fingers along his ribs and goose flesh raised. She brushed her lips across the fine, soft hairs under his adam's apple and giggled when he shivered. Her tongue traced his jaw for a bit, delighting in the feeling of his stubble.

She kissed the point of his chin and the corner of his mouth. When his lips parted to hers she nibbled the fleshy lower one, his moan sending a thrill through her. His fingers wound through her hair and stroked her scalp, making her ears tingle.

Then he was pushing her to him and she drove her tongue into his mouth. She savored the sweetness she found there. His tongue followed her's back and filled her mouth, searching; for what? He only knew... but she tugged on him and he pressed her harder in.

She tilted her chin and he moved under her, fitting them together like puzzle pieces. She felt his other hand slide down her spine and press into the small of her back. A fire lit in her belly.

She lifted herself onto her elbows and broke away from the kiss to gasp. She felt him growing under her hips and she wanted to taste more. She looked into his eyes and her heart started to pound. She loved how he looked at her; how her body and eyes seemed to be equally important when his hungry gaze was eating her up.

She threw the blanket back and shivered when the sharp cold of the night air hit her skin...


Neffydd woke to the waning light of the Winter afternoon. She shivered again and pulled the blankets up, over her shoulders. There was a dream she was never going to get back... DAMMIT!

04 February, 2014

Good Morning

Neffydd watched the sun rise, pink and orange over the heavily frosted hills. As the glowing orb climbed higher and higher absolutely nothing was warmed and the chill was beginning to cut through her layers to her skin.

Time to say her daily devotional and then drop to sleep. She wrapped her blanket tighter to her as the words of her new verse came to her sleepy mind.

Hello Sun, your day's begun... You're why the world is turning.
Goodbye Moon, see you soon... Take with you my yearning.

Where's the Stars? Winking gems... Not strong enough to warm me.
And to the spaces in between... Not strong enough to harm me.

Goodnight Moon. If there's room... I'd love to have you take me.
Good morning, Sun; and when you're done... don't bother to wake me.

23 January, 2014


Cold air stung her face as she looked out across her beloved city, cherishing the twinkling lights nestled in the frozen wasteland of the winter-washed valley. Neffydd took a deep breath and enjoyed the pain of icy air in her feverish lungs. Her legs hung over the edge of the tall building, feet swinging and hitting the wall below her in a steady rhythm.

She toyed with the idea of falling, even though she knew that she couldn't do it. She spread her wings then closed them tight against her body to shield her core from the cold. Her whole body ached... her whole being was in pain. The cold didn't really matter to her; she couldn't die from it. Nothing could kill her. Not even the enduring pain.

She let out her breath in a giant white puff that froze into a cloud of tiny ice crystals and she watched it dissipate as it fell toward the hard ground. She wished she were her breath and not the breather.

She took in another fridged breath and shoved off the ledge. She kept her wings folded and enjoyed the feeling of death rushing close; then, when her instincts could bear it no longer, her wings opened.

She flung her arms wide to support her wings as they caught the air that had been whizzing past her body. The thrum of air hitting the membranes was deafening and the pain almost unbearable. Almost. She redirected her kinetic energy and twisted just so, turning her fall into a tumble then swooped out of her fall a mere ten lengths from the ground.

She could see faces a couple lengths below her flushed with fear and concern, a few accompanied by hands out-stretched as if to catch her. She felt a sad smile crawl across her face as she pumped her wings to gain altitude again. She twisted again and barrel-rolled before pumping furiously toward home.

Not today.

20 January, 2014

Missing You...

Neffydd's too-long talons clacked against the input keys of her aether com and she held back frantic tears with pure force-of-will. She was searching again... She knew she shouldn't torture herself, like this, but she couldn't help it. There had to be a picture or something... she just wanted to see her daughter's face.

Then, there is was. Her daughter's eyes shot lances through Neffydd's heart. The picture was old by a couple years, but Neffydd cherished it, all the same. She thought of all the things she was missing and blinked back another rush of tears.

She copied the photo to her private storage, then continued to flip through endless aethernet pages, looking for more. Maybe she could find an academic award or a photo of someone else with her child in the background...