Softness caressing my skin; comforting, loving....
A buzzing under my belly; hungry, stimulating...
The ache in my groin growing, slow to cover the one in my chest.
Coldness fills my lungs; gasping, shuddering...
Momentum building up; grasping, slipping...
At the moment of ecstasy, my heart searches and finds nothing.
Wetness between my fingers; musky, cloying...
An aching behind my eyes; yearning, leaking...
My cheeks cool and my world fades; Sleep has come for me alone.
30 April, 2014
19 April, 2014
You never know
Neffydd gazed at her reflection and touched the spots on the side of her face. They were puffy and sore; reminders of the illness she didn't really want to deal with, yet. She didn't think she ever wanted to deal with it, but soon she would have to start getting things in order...
She blew her nose. Blood, again. That couldn't be good, either. Ugh. Her body ached, most of the time, now; so badly, at times, that she could barely walk, let alone fly. There was no food she could consume a great quantity of trying to eat more than a couple ounces at a time hurt, too.
She remembered a conversation with the physicker, who was overseeing her care. Fifteen years... Thirty if she took extra good care of herself. She might get to see her youngest graduate from higher learning. She tried to brush the painful thoughts away, but they came back; taunting her with the sound of Jedi's voice when her lover had told her that there was never any way to tell.
She knew he was right. It didn't stop the worry, though. It seemed like there was nothing but worry, now. She pushed the thoughts back again and walked out of the room.
"Hi, Mommy!" Her little one waved sticky fingers at her.
"Hey, baby." She kissed her daughter on the head and went for a cleaning rag. Life was still trudging forward... She might as well follow it.
She blew her nose. Blood, again. That couldn't be good, either. Ugh. Her body ached, most of the time, now; so badly, at times, that she could barely walk, let alone fly. There was no food she could consume a great quantity of trying to eat more than a couple ounces at a time hurt, too.
She remembered a conversation with the physicker, who was overseeing her care. Fifteen years... Thirty if she took extra good care of herself. She might get to see her youngest graduate from higher learning. She tried to brush the painful thoughts away, but they came back; taunting her with the sound of Jedi's voice when her lover had told her that there was never any way to tell.
She knew he was right. It didn't stop the worry, though. It seemed like there was nothing but worry, now. She pushed the thoughts back again and walked out of the room.
"Hi, Mommy!" Her little one waved sticky fingers at her.
"Hey, baby." She kissed her daughter on the head and went for a cleaning rag. Life was still trudging forward... She might as well follow it.
20 February, 2014
Tightly Wound Cables
Warder Sullens paced the space at the foot of the bed with the mobile com pressed to his elegant ear.
"No." He growled at the tiny voice that had been trying to explain something to him. "I had your service removed from our residence. I'm not paying you more to come cut it off properly. I'm not going to pay for the service that you left on after I told your company to disconnect it and I returned all of your hardware... And I most certainly will not accept a credit to the account THAT I WANT CLOSED!"
The tiny voice coming from the speaker chattered in upset tones for a bit before Sullens reasserted his right to a repayment of over paid funds.
"Your company was given two payments of $140, last month, another payment for this month (no matter that we disconnected our service,) then tried to charge our funds accounts another $140!" He paused to take a single, calming breath before continuing. "Now I want all credits liquidated, those charges refunded and the banking fees your company incurred to be charged back to the funds account they were drawn from."
The dickering continued for a while before Sullens closed the connection.
"They said 'The check is in the mail'." He glowered at Neffydd from across the room. "I'll believe it when I see it."
"No." He growled at the tiny voice that had been trying to explain something to him. "I had your service removed from our residence. I'm not paying you more to come cut it off properly. I'm not going to pay for the service that you left on after I told your company to disconnect it and I returned all of your hardware... And I most certainly will not accept a credit to the account THAT I WANT CLOSED!"
The tiny voice coming from the speaker chattered in upset tones for a bit before Sullens reasserted his right to a repayment of over paid funds.
"Your company was given two payments of $140, last month, another payment for this month (no matter that we disconnected our service,) then tried to charge our funds accounts another $140!" He paused to take a single, calming breath before continuing. "Now I want all credits liquidated, those charges refunded and the banking fees your company incurred to be charged back to the funds account they were drawn from."
The dickering continued for a while before Sullens closed the connection.
"They said 'The check is in the mail'." He glowered at Neffydd from across the room. "I'll believe it when I see it."
11 February, 2014
Dreamy
She turned in her lover's arms and pressed her cheek against his chest. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heart thump, thump, thump-ing under her face and hear the warm breath whooshing through his chest, then passing over her sharp ears.
She kissed the smooth skin of his chest, near her mouth. Her lips parted and she inhaled the taste of him; her tongue darting out for a better lick. She tuned her face and kissed the hard nub of his nipple then shifted her weight so she could reach a kiss to his collar bone with a nibble for his pectoral.
His skin tightened when she traced her fingers along his ribs and goose flesh raised. She brushed her lips across the fine, soft hairs under his adam's apple and giggled when he shivered. Her tongue traced his jaw for a bit, delighting in the feeling of his stubble.
She kissed the point of his chin and the corner of his mouth. When his lips parted to hers she nibbled the fleshy lower one, his moan sending a thrill through her. His fingers wound through her hair and stroked her scalp, making her ears tingle.
Then he was pushing her to him and she drove her tongue into his mouth. She savored the sweetness she found there. His tongue followed her's back and filled her mouth, searching; for what? He only knew... but she tugged on him and he pressed her harder in.
She tilted her chin and he moved under her, fitting them together like puzzle pieces. She felt his other hand slide down her spine and press into the small of her back. A fire lit in her belly.
She lifted herself onto her elbows and broke away from the kiss to gasp. She felt him growing under her hips and she wanted to taste more. She looked into his eyes and her heart started to pound. She loved how he looked at her; how her body and eyes seemed to be equally important when his hungry gaze was eating her up.
She threw the blanket back and shivered when the sharp cold of the night air hit her skin...
~:}Y{:~
Neffydd woke to the waning light of the Winter afternoon. She shivered again and pulled the blankets up, over her shoulders. There was a dream she was never going to get back... DAMMIT!
She kissed the smooth skin of his chest, near her mouth. Her lips parted and she inhaled the taste of him; her tongue darting out for a better lick. She tuned her face and kissed the hard nub of his nipple then shifted her weight so she could reach a kiss to his collar bone with a nibble for his pectoral.
His skin tightened when she traced her fingers along his ribs and goose flesh raised. She brushed her lips across the fine, soft hairs under his adam's apple and giggled when he shivered. Her tongue traced his jaw for a bit, delighting in the feeling of his stubble.
She kissed the point of his chin and the corner of his mouth. When his lips parted to hers she nibbled the fleshy lower one, his moan sending a thrill through her. His fingers wound through her hair and stroked her scalp, making her ears tingle.
Then he was pushing her to him and she drove her tongue into his mouth. She savored the sweetness she found there. His tongue followed her's back and filled her mouth, searching; for what? He only knew... but she tugged on him and he pressed her harder in.
She tilted her chin and he moved under her, fitting them together like puzzle pieces. She felt his other hand slide down her spine and press into the small of her back. A fire lit in her belly.
She lifted herself onto her elbows and broke away from the kiss to gasp. She felt him growing under her hips and she wanted to taste more. She looked into his eyes and her heart started to pound. She loved how he looked at her; how her body and eyes seemed to be equally important when his hungry gaze was eating her up.
She threw the blanket back and shivered when the sharp cold of the night air hit her skin...
~:}Y{:~
Neffydd woke to the waning light of the Winter afternoon. She shivered again and pulled the blankets up, over her shoulders. There was a dream she was never going to get back... DAMMIT!
04 February, 2014
Good Morning
Neffydd watched the sun rise, pink and orange over the heavily frosted hills. As the glowing orb climbed higher and higher absolutely nothing was warmed and the chill was beginning to cut through her layers to her skin.
Time to say her daily devotional and then drop to sleep. She wrapped her blanket tighter to her as the words of her new verse came to her sleepy mind.
Hello Sun, your day's begun... You're why the world is turning.
Goodbye Moon, see you soon... Take with you my yearning.
Where's the Stars? Winking gems... Not strong enough to warm me.
And to the spaces in between... Not strong enough to harm me.
Goodnight Moon. If there's room... I'd love to have you take me.
Good morning, Sun; and when you're done... don't bother to wake me.
Time to say her daily devotional and then drop to sleep. She wrapped her blanket tighter to her as the words of her new verse came to her sleepy mind.
Hello Sun, your day's begun... You're why the world is turning.
Goodbye Moon, see you soon... Take with you my yearning.
Where's the Stars? Winking gems... Not strong enough to warm me.
And to the spaces in between... Not strong enough to harm me.
Goodnight Moon. If there's room... I'd love to have you take me.
Good morning, Sun; and when you're done... don't bother to wake me.
23 January, 2014
Diver
Cold air stung her face as she looked out across her beloved city, cherishing the twinkling lights nestled in the frozen wasteland of the winter-washed valley. Neffydd took a deep breath and enjoyed the pain of icy air in her feverish lungs. Her legs hung over the edge of the tall building, feet swinging and hitting the wall below her in a steady rhythm.
She toyed with the idea of falling, even though she knew that she couldn't do it. She spread her wings then closed them tight against her body to shield her core from the cold. Her whole body ached... her whole being was in pain. The cold didn't really matter to her; she couldn't die from it. Nothing could kill her. Not even the enduring pain.
She let out her breath in a giant white puff that froze into a cloud of tiny ice crystals and she watched it dissipate as it fell toward the hard ground. She wished she were her breath and not the breather.
She took in another fridged breath and shoved off the ledge. She kept her wings folded and enjoyed the feeling of death rushing close; then, when her instincts could bear it no longer, her wings opened.
She flung her arms wide to support her wings as they caught the air that had been whizzing past her body. The thrum of air hitting the membranes was deafening and the pain almost unbearable. Almost. She redirected her kinetic energy and twisted just so, turning her fall into a tumble then swooped out of her fall a mere ten lengths from the ground.
She could see faces a couple lengths below her flushed with fear and concern, a few accompanied by hands out-stretched as if to catch her. She felt a sad smile crawl across her face as she pumped her wings to gain altitude again. She twisted again and barrel-rolled before pumping furiously toward home.
Not today.
She toyed with the idea of falling, even though she knew that she couldn't do it. She spread her wings then closed them tight against her body to shield her core from the cold. Her whole body ached... her whole being was in pain. The cold didn't really matter to her; she couldn't die from it. Nothing could kill her. Not even the enduring pain.
She let out her breath in a giant white puff that froze into a cloud of tiny ice crystals and she watched it dissipate as it fell toward the hard ground. She wished she were her breath and not the breather.
She took in another fridged breath and shoved off the ledge. She kept her wings folded and enjoyed the feeling of death rushing close; then, when her instincts could bear it no longer, her wings opened.
She flung her arms wide to support her wings as they caught the air that had been whizzing past her body. The thrum of air hitting the membranes was deafening and the pain almost unbearable. Almost. She redirected her kinetic energy and twisted just so, turning her fall into a tumble then swooped out of her fall a mere ten lengths from the ground.
She could see faces a couple lengths below her flushed with fear and concern, a few accompanied by hands out-stretched as if to catch her. She felt a sad smile crawl across her face as she pumped her wings to gain altitude again. She twisted again and barrel-rolled before pumping furiously toward home.
Not today.
20 January, 2014
Missing You...
Neffydd's too-long talons clacked against the input keys of her aether com and she held back frantic tears with pure force-of-will. She was searching again... She knew she shouldn't torture herself, like this, but she couldn't help it. There had to be a picture or something... she just wanted to see her daughter's face.
Then, there is was. Her daughter's eyes shot lances through Neffydd's heart. The picture was old by a couple years, but Neffydd cherished it, all the same. She thought of all the things she was missing and blinked back another rush of tears.
She copied the photo to her private storage, then continued to flip through endless aethernet pages, looking for more. Maybe she could find an academic award or a photo of someone else with her child in the background...
Then, there is was. Her daughter's eyes shot lances through Neffydd's heart. The picture was old by a couple years, but Neffydd cherished it, all the same. She thought of all the things she was missing and blinked back another rush of tears.
She copied the photo to her private storage, then continued to flip through endless aethernet pages, looking for more. Maybe she could find an academic award or a photo of someone else with her child in the background...
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